I MISS YOU!!!!

I just wanted to post that Thanksgiving was such a wonderful and sad day all wrapped into one.  It was wonderful because I have three children that are healthy and one child in Heaven waiting on me.  It was sad because you were there Lydia.  I know you was in my heart but I just WANT so badly to smell your baby hair and hear you cry.  Your baby hat finally lost you scent.  I just miss you so terribly.  I can't believe that in 18 days it will be six months.  Right about now on June 29th was when you entered Heaven.  I love you but I'm getting really upset.  You know my thoughts and my heart.  Please, help mommy to be strong.  We love and miss you. 

Three Months

It's so hard to believe that it's been over three months already.  I sit here and every once in a while I "hear" you cry.  I sometime think of how fast you would be growing and what you would be doing this month.  It's so surreal.  I know that I won't be able to truly see you here but, instead, have to wait until I am with you as well as God Almighty and Jesus.  I've never wanted to go home more than I do since you've left.  hoever, I realize that the Lord knows that your brothers and sister as well as daddy need me as where you don't.  I know one thing for sure, you're made me strive to be a better wife, mother, and Christian.  I am so thankful for the short time that I had with you.  You will always be a part of our little family and who knows maybe that little family will turn into a big family.  Everyone here loves you so much.  Not that you didn't already know that.

Mommy and Daddy are moving

We are moving to another home.  I'm getting ready to pack up all the things that I've bought for.  I can't part with it.  It's the only thing(s) that I was able to buy for you other than your casket and beautiful dress in which we laid you to rest in.  It pains me so bad to know EVERYDAY that you should (in my eyes) be here but that you're not.  In some ways it seems like just yesterday but in others it seems so far away.  I sometimes think you were a dream because I was SOOO happy and then boom the happiness went away.  I am so grateful to have held you for those four hours without knowing that you weren't going to make it because it made those moments so such more pleasurable.  I am so excited togo hoe to be with you and I know that one day I will.  Just when it's the Lords will.  I love you so much Lydia Rose and you are always in our hearts. 

What would it be like if you were here?

I can't help but often wonder what it would be like if God had plans for you to be here with daddy, mommy, your two brothers, and sister.  I know that I would be so happy and thanful.  Every though his plans for you were different I still am so thankful for the short time that I was able to hold and kiss you.  I am also thankful for the security I have with where you are and that we WILL be reunited.  Sometimes it just doesn't make sense. You were so healthy and nothing ever showed up.  I just have to keep telling myself that it was all the good Lord's will.  I'm just doing my best to try to raise your brothers and sister right.  So that we may ALL be reunited in Heaven one glorious day.

We love you Baby

It's hard to believe that it's already been 7 weeks.  I just keep telling myself that I'm 7 weeks closer to being with you.  I know that I can't change things and you wouldn't want to come here.  However, if I could change things I would give anything to have you back.  You are brought up everyday and all of our earthly children know who you are and where you are.  This will be taught to everyone of our children.  Everytime that we pray, whether in the car, over food, or our regular praying we tell you that we love and miss you.  I know that I don't have to write this because you know my every thought but it helps me to write my thoughts down.  Plus, I didn't get to do much for you while you were here I want to make sure that I do my best to keep your memory alive.  If no one else remembers you at least your daddy, mommy, and ALL your siblings will FOREVER remember you.  We miss you so bady.

My heart is happy for her

As hard as it is for me to say that I am happy for my daughter...I am. She is in Heaven and it's greedy for me to "wish her back." Not only is it greedy but it will never happen. My daughter will always be in our hearts and thoughts but I will not be able to see her again until reunited in Heaven or the end of time. I really wish, formy "selifish" self that this wasn't the way that things worked out but it is what God had planned and he knows what is best for all of us. I love and miss you dearly Lydia Rose. May you continue to help mommy to not be so sad all the time. As you no longer need your mommy but your brothers and sister do. Until we are reunited in Heaven (and what a glorious day that will be) my heart will love for your smell, sound, touch, face, etc. I love you, my sleeping beauty. :)

Two weeks since my baby met Jesus

I miss her SOOOOOO badly. I cry all the time. I know in my heart that the tears that I've shed are not for her but for me. How could I honestly cry for her when she is in the Lords hands? She will never have a boo-boo something that I can't promise my other three children. I'm having a difficult time with losing my beautiful little girl so if someone has gone through something similiar please email me. I don't know really anyone who has gone through this. I can't even go to the bathroom or to the store because of baby changers and babies. Thanks so much.

I love you, Lydia

imikimi - Customize Your World!

In Loving Memory of my Lydia Rose

This is my beautiful little princess. Mommy, daddy, Micah, Elijah, and Hannah love and miss you so badly Lydia. My beautiful purple rose.

In Loving Memory of Lydia Rose

06/29/2009-06/29/2009